The following is written with all possible irony and humor.
It is safe to say that I have gleaned all of my understanding of The Hipster from television shows. And my 19 year-old cousin who seems to despise The Hipster in all its forms. This limited information has lead me to conclude that I am a hipster. Let's examine the facts, as I understand them:
1) Hipsters crochet and knit and generally create hip crafty things for themselves. CHECK. It is entirely possible that everyone in my family will receive a handmade gift, if I can manage it. Regard my Pinterest crocheting board.
2) Hipsters wear cool eyeglasses. CHECK. I have cool, retro, bright red specs. They are awesome.
Urban Outfitters. CHECK. It is my current favorite store. Many tchotchkes are purchased from UO at each visit.
7) Hipsters love film photography. CHECK. I liked it when it was the only option, and I still use it now. I have a shelf in my fridge for film, and I am planning to document this Christmas on expired Polaroid film. Yes. I am THAT cool.
CONCLUSION: I am a hipster, although clearly I am not. I couldn't lie convincingly enough about my age to be a hipster. But I like all the things that are awesome. The difference, of course, is that I like these things genuinely, not ironically. I am mature, evolved, and clearly awesome. I was a hipster before The Hipster.